That’s unfair! Says the introvert.

My extrovert bff is constantly getting on my nerves. Actually, every extrovert I know gets on my nerves because I feel life isn’t fair to my introvert self and yet it gives a free hand to almost all extrovert people I know. Almost all extroverts I know get married so soon and the introverts have to wait for a miracle for that prince charming or princess to come to their rescue (a shocking number don’t last in the marriage, but they still got married first and that pricks me). I mean I get one guy at a time and I stay as faithful as can be and he still walks out on me while my extrovert bff gets like ten guys at once, jugs them successfully and gets them to keep doing her biddings years later. She says it’s her seduction style that helps her do this but I still insist that it’s her extrovertish nature, her natural ability to handle people.

I used to ask guys what sort of lady they wanted to end up with, their replies all went something like; a lady who loves to party, a lady who most of my family members like, a lady who is really funny, a lady who is fun to hang out with, a lady who can totally transform a boring Saturday into something as exciting as a Friday night, bla bla bla …. I got tired of hearing all that because it clearly describes an extrovert, I did the next most intelligent thing I could do, stop asking. It’s not like am jealous or anything but my extrovert bff already has three jobs waiting for her and two fiancés to choose from and I HAVE GOT NOTHING! Am not mad, it’s just so unfair. So yes, I hate going to parties often, and yes, I don’t always initiate conversation with strangers and yes I’m hardly ever the life of the party, I mostly just blend to the background much like the legs of the chair in the monalisa paintings. Uuuuurrrggghhhh, that’s not fun.

But what really pricks me is the fact that my mom is also an extrovert and boy does she hate me cause I aint one. I don’t give a damn though (secretly, I do). Anyway, so after busting and ranting about the frustrations of not being an extrovert, I’m still an introvert! And it’s cool a lot of times, there’s an air of mystery around it and ooooohh I love mystery, I put my nose in those mystery novels and I have to be dragged to the dining table to eat (that annoys most of the extroverts in my life), but they will never know the pleasure of being lost in another world where the distinctions are minimal as they are more interested in the real world.

And before I leave, please don’t be cruel to the introvert, we’re just being us. Don’t send your dogs after us and don’t call the cops if you see us. I know we can be weird but the world is so much the world with us in it!

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Letter to my yet-to-be-successful self

Dear Me,

I know you had expected to hit jackpot by now but well, here we are, still in the fight, still on the journey, closer however than we were when we first began. Life has happened fast and hard and to be honest, you weren’t prepared for some of the shocks and rude awakenings to your personality and the way the world operates, which you got. You have been poor at handling a lot of things and decisions, you have been wrong in choosing certain people as your friends because they have led you far from your dreams and goals. Your handling of finances has been shocking as your obsession with shopping has made you quite extravagant. You have also been hardly true to your words, setting goals that you wouldn’t strive so hard to achieve as though you were suffering from a disease called apathy or indifference.

It’s not too late for you however. Whenever you wake up, that’s your morning. I know you have become confused these days, not sure what path your life will follow, I know you have been battling with focus, not sure what exactly it is you want to do and so expending your energy in so many places, reducing the effectiveness. Heck, you don’t even know what particular content to put on your blog. Anyway, I still believe in you because you have a strong determination to succeed and that’s a good place to begin from. When I look into your eyes, I see someone with dreams of making life better for as many people especially women and children in distress like widows, orphans, kids from less privileged homes and abused ladies. I feel that passion and desire in your heart to leave this world a lot better than you met it, a lot better than it is right now and that is a great place to begin.

The desire and dream is however not enough, you must want it enough for your subconscious mind to feel your need for it. You must want it enough to begin to live a life of discipline as it is with all champions and achievers. You must want it enough to begin preparing towards it in character and speech and looks. You must want it enough to begin to stay late nights researching on it and finding ways to achieve it and making plans on how to achieve it. You must want it enough to begin to work both physically and mentally towards its manifestation.

You are a great person and I know you will do great things, but do you believe in yourself? Do you believe you are a great person? Because I can’t catch the vision and the fire for you, you have to catch the fire yourself and run with that fire, run till you get to that finish line, where i will be waiting for you with a smile that says, I’m proud of you. Don’t disappoint me Dee.

I love you now and always,

Myself.

Walk your Talk.

Today I was thinking about life and success and I realized that whatsoever change you want in life, you must do it first. The popular saying goes “be the change you want to see”. It easy to see problems with other people, to demand their change but what about you friend, are you changing? Are you an example of what you want someone else to become? As I pondered on these, I realized that you must first be friends with yourself before you can be friends with others, you must first love yourself before you can love others, you must first be true to yourself before you can be true to others, you must first lead yourself before you can lead others, you must first be a role model to yourself to yourself before you can be a role model to others. Whatever it is you want to do or be, you must first do it and be it to yourself before you do it or be it to others.

We all are smart, people are smart, they see through the façade you put on when you are not what you preach. They may not confront you about it, but they won’t heed you either and it becomes a loss on your part as you are taken for granted wherever that is. How can a man teach discipline except he practices discipline. How can he teach me success except he has strived and attained it. Even in the bible, the apostles said they had seen and beheld the glory of the only begotten son of God and so they could speak about it. You cannot help me until you have felt my pain and understood my predicament.

It’s easy to tell when an engineer begins to pose as a carpenter, so also it is easy to tell when we preach doctrines that we do not keep. Our kids see these things, all those around us see it, we can’t deceive anyone but ourselves. Sincerely, it’s not worth it in the long run. Be yourself, walk your talk. Don’t just preach it, be a living example of your message. Sometimes you may have to pause your talk until you learn the walk, but that’s okay, as long as you walk the talk eventually.

As you start a new day, a new week, a new month, make this your motto, WYT(walk your talk), it almost sounds like with or white, anyway, just make it your motto, whenever you get tempted to dish out advice you don’t heed, WYT. Whenever you want to do something nasty in private,WYT. Whenever you get tempted to break any of your values,WYT. There’s no better way to live than this wayJ I believe in you, I know you can do it, so don’t be a hypocrite, be the change you want to see.

NAIJA, STAND UP!

Naija, how una dey? Men dis country no dey sweet too much again o, wetin our leaders wan do wit us na? which kin leader we even vote in sef? Me don ask myself plenty plenty questions concerning all dis, e no dey funny anymore. I no even know which one I wan face, boko haram wahala dey there, we never finish all the bombing one before now agin we dey face not just debt wey our country own but subsidy as well. Poor man go survive for naija no matter wetin them do. All I know na sey hustling activated beecos any how,anyhow, man must survive and no be just survive, but thrive as well.

Make we all stand up for our country, make we no let this tin slip out of control. Make we no let corrupt politicians like Alison, ngozi and badluck,ouch goodluck, destroy dis country for us. Their children them dey abroad, na we dey here, we no get place to run to if then spoil dis tin for us. If we let them spoil dis country, wetin we go tell our children? Me dey even think say make we get new faces for that government sef,I don dey tire but e go better anyhow.

All diz advertisements wey they dey do for tv to support subsidy, na our money o. na our money dey de carry bribe people here and there make they de their side o. naija no sitdown like sey e no concern u bcos e concern all of us. Make we join hand make our voices heard.

Me dey go protest, then sleep, then pray. Naija stand up for our country!

LET’S RELAX

You know sometimes the way I sound is so serious. So serious it scares me too *wink* but sometimes we just have to be hard on ourselves so we don’t relax on achieving our goals. Am not all serious most times, I have my ups and downs. i and let me tell you a secret, please don’t tell anyone, sometimes I can be so silly and so dump! Do you know the other day I, hey hey hey i won’t tell you, why are you so interested? Hahahaha! Meeting you all through this blog is one of the wonderful things that have happened to me lately, I appreciate your taking the time to go through what I’ve written even though it still deserves more polishing. Little by little, step by step, we walk towards perfection and that’s the way it ought to be.

You know, something really funny just happened and I just had to share it with you. My neighbor sent two of her kids to go and buy bean cakes this evening and after sometime, the younger one came running that the older brother had just been hit by a vehicle, in the panic that arose, my neighbor called me and we both ran with the younger brother mike to where he said it happened. On getting there, we saw just the elder brother, jide, sitting under a tree by the road, we asked him what happened while checking him to be sure he was completely okay, guess his reply? “The car hit me and the bean cake got crushed”. Kids think they are so smart. Looking at the road there was no sign of a crushed bean cake on it, and jide had not been hit, what had happened was that they bought the bean cake, sat down and ate it and decided to lie about it, hahhahahaha! How hilarious, but my neighbor didn’t take it so lightly.

I don’t have to dish out advice after advice on every post, we can just relax sometimes and get to laugh about life. Take care of you, bye!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?

Yeah I know that topic just jumps right out. But seriously, what are you thinking? What keeps going through your mind constantly? What do you seem to meditate endlessly on? Do you know that you created your present position in life partly by your thoughts? Either through focused thinking or disorganized thinking? Let me tell you a story, when I was a kid, I was in the primary school then, the head girl of the school, a class mate of mine transferred to a different school and as cocky as I was, I thought there could not be a better candidate for the position than me but to my surprise the post was given to another classmate of mine, I didn’t care ,I told everyone at home that I was the new head girl and boy did they praise me! They never discovered the truth, I occasionally thought about it and fantasized about being the head girl. Anyway I went off to a boarding secondary school and guess what! I became the head girl (senior prefect) of my school. A typical example of the power of our thoughts *wink*.

I came across a proverb that inspired this article, I want to share it with you.

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habit. Keep your habit positive because your habit becomes your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

The power of thoughts is a mystery of life, the fact that great achievements begin with a tiny thought is a mystery but well, it’s true because it has worked for many and I am convinced that it will work for you too if you walk it. A thought is like the tiny rudder on the ship, it’s like that small hole that can sink a mighty ship. A thought can make or break you, it can determine how far you go in life, and it can stop you short despite your hardest efforts. That’s why we must never let our thoughts slide, we must take hold of our thoughts and be conscious of what is going through our minds. Knowing the power of our thoughts, we should use it to our advantage, use it to get the life we want, to get whatever it is we want, whatever our heart desires.

As you begin to take note of your thoughts, you will discover if your thoughts are positive or negative, if they are pulling you towards or away from your dreams. If they are positive and working in your favor, you should re-enforce them but if they are negative, you should begin to work towards stirring them in the right direction. Surely it’s not a day’s task, but every day you will experience small victories, really tiny at first, but something will be changing within you as you strive towards changing thought direction.

How can you change your thought direction?

  • Be careful what information you let go into your mind. Not every book or magazine has to be read, not every tv station is worth watching and not all music is worth listening to.
  • Your association matters. Most times the people around us help mold our opinion on a lot of things including who we are! That’s why you can’t just let everyone advise you, you can’t tell just anyone your dream and your vision because they could crush it and make you begin to think wrong thoughts that will complete the crushing process they’ve started.
  • Let your mirror help you tutor yourself. Each time you stand before that mirror, use your words to infuse the right thoughts into your heart. No matter what anyone has told you, as you stand before that mirror, tell yourself how great you are, how brilliant your dream is, use positive confession to infuse the right thoughts into your heart.
  • The power of the Word of God can never be under estimated. It infuses faith into you, a strong knowing that with the help of God, you can achieve whatever you set your mind to.
  • The place of prayer is also important. Talking to a power higher than you, a power soo strong, a power that rules not just your destiny but that of everyone around you. Talking to God is the most amazing way to direct your thought positively. I saved the best for the last*smile*.

     

    These are just five ways, there are more ways but starting with these few will set you well on the path to a positive mindset filled with positive thoughts that will pull you to the achievement of your dreams. Never again play with your thoughts because they have tremendous power.

     

    I love to hear from you, to interact with you, so please leave your comments, observations and criticisms.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THE LIFE YOU HAVE LEFT?

Yes, what are you going to do with the life you have left? You aren’t so young anymore, if you’ve reached eighteen years, then you have lived for 6570 days already and with the number of young people dying these days, you sure know by now that you are not sure when it will be over for you. If that’s the case, when do you want to start living your dreams, when do you want to start working towards your goals? Do you even have goals? When are you going to start working on your plans? Do you even have a plan? If it was all gonna be over in ten years, what projects would you start right away? What wonderful projects have you abandoned that you would strive to finish? Surely you don’t want to just drift to the end?

Living should start now. That hobby you’ve always wanted to learn, that place you’ve always wanted to go to, that vacation! This is the time to do it, not tomorrow, not next year because we are creatures of time and are not sure when our time stops ticking. Is there someone you’ve always wanted to spend time with? Why not do it now, not necessarily on a fancy vacation, perhaps at the park in the form of a small picnic.

This is not a long piece, I just want you to ponder on your life, to decide what you want to do with the rest of it. Today, make a list of the fifty things you’ve never done, the places you’ve never been to, the people you want to see/ visit again. It may be a simple thing like taking your family to a cinema or going out for lunch with an estranged kid of yours. Maybe a day of wondering, just feeding birds. A call to a long lost family member or friend, how about skiing or skating. Perhaps you always wanted to learn yoga or karate, isn’t it time to overcome your fear of water by taking that swimming class? Whatever it is, put it on your list and make the effort to do it. It doesn’t have to be perfect when you do it, just enjoy the moment, enjoy the beauty of life and breath in that fresh air while reminding yourself to live again and again and again until the final moment. Let it be that you never again look back with regret at your past, but with pride and joy knowing you made the most of it, you made every part of your life count!

Finally, on a more sober note, in deep thought with pen and paper in hand, I want you to ask yourself, WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH THE LIFE I HAVE LEFT?

STANDING ON THE SHOULDERS OF GIANTS

If i have been able to see any further, it’s because i have stood on the shoulders of a giant” (Sir Isaac Newton)

This is a great deal what mentoring is all about, standing on the shoulders of giants. Who are giants? Giants are not necessarily people physically taller or huger than you and i, they are people who have made their mark in different areas of life, people who have forged ahead despite hard circumstances and have left their foot prints in the sands of time. They are people of the past and the present who have made positive impact in their fields. They don’t have to be famous, they just need to have that spark in their eyes, that sprint in their steps, that makes you want to do something good for humanity, that makes you want to make a difference. It could be your grandpa or your grandma, it could be that uncle or aunty, perhaps that lady in the church or even the pastor, it could be someone at school, a teacher perhaps or even your coach! Really? Yes. They are called mentors, role models, stars but i love to refer to them as giants. There is no specific place to find a giant, it depends on the area in which you want that giant. A giant can only show you things in his or her field (Michael Jordan could help you grow iin basket ball, but he wouldn’t be so effective in teaching you fashion or entrepreneurship). That’s why you would be better off choosing a giant in your field i.e. career wise or dream wise. Preferably, your giant should be someone you can see and talk to, someone you can ask questions and receive answers fast, if he can’t be there body and soul, then as an alternative, have his books, read them, listen to his tapes, email him. Every journey is easier when we do it together, two is always better than one. By standing on the giants shoulder, we see further than our pairs, thereby succeeding easier and sometimes faster than they.

CHOOSING A GIANT

Choosing a giant is a big responsibility, but sometimes we fail to recognize this fact. No one leaves you the same. You are either moving forward or backward as a result of your association with any person, that’s why choosing a giant must be taken seriously. Here are some questions you should ask yourself before choosing a person as your giant.

  1. Has he or she attained what I wish to attain? Has he or she achieved his dreams?
  2. Does she have the character traits that I would love to see in myself? Is he or she a positive person? A person of integrity, a person that keeps his words?
  3. Does he or she have the capability to teach me all I need to know in order to be where she is? Is he a good teacher or coach? Does he have the necessary experience?
  4. Is she or he willing to teach me? This particular question is important because someone who sees you as a competition won’t want to teach you all they know. You need someone who is confident of their standing, someone who doesn’t mind you surpassing them, someone who is selfless in teaching you.

Please drop your comments , I will certainly love to hear your opinions on this and your suggestions as well. Thanks, I remain Daniella on foreveryoungdotme.wordpress.com


 

I WANT RESULTS NOT REASONS!

This is one of my favorite sayings and I love it so much because it helps me kick my life forward no matter how hard everything gets. Sometimes after so many setbacks, we tend to abandon our goals and dreams giving so many reasons why we quit, why it didn’t work, etc, etc and before we know it, we find ourselves abandoning project after project, always with a list of reasons to back our actions. i was shocked and amused at the same time when i was discussing with an acquaintance about why he hadn’t really made it after so many years when to my amazement, he brought out a paper on which there was a list of about twenty reasons why! I was surprised that someone could actually sit down and make a list of reasons for the person’s failures.

Life doesn’t reward reasons or excuses, it rewards action. Most often than not when we set our mind on achieving something and work tirelessly and persistently with a strategy or good plan, somehow, we just seem to hit a jackpot! Not necessarily the way we wanted it to be, it may be some other way. The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going. In giving ourselves reasons, we close our minds to new ideas and ways of achieving our goals/results. In giving reasons we allow mental laziness to set in and thereby drag our enthusiasm down. In giving reasons we stop ourselves from putting our very best into getting what we want, we begin to conserve energy and become haphazard in our work.

A lot of times, people would rather spend their time looking for reasons rather than working towards results because they are lazy. Do I hear you saying you’re not lazy? You work two jobs, you wake early and sleep late? You’re the most hardworking person you ever met? Alright, that may be true, but the kind of laziness I’m talking about is not physical laziness, its mental laziness. We refuse to sit down and think, to restrategize if our first plan fails. We refuse to be flexible in the achievement of our goals. We refuse to learn new ways of achieving our goals/ results. Sometimes we’ve got to imagine a stern looking parent or tutor shouting those words at us when we begin to think of reasons why we should quit.

You have probably set your goals for the year, you have your resolutions in place, now, tell yourself “I want results not reasons” and believe you me, you will be smiling at the end of the year as you bask in accomplishment after accomplishment as a reason of this five worded sentence. It has worked for many, it will work for you. I believe in you and so I know you can do it.

And so in conclusion friend, I WANT RESULTS AND NOT REASONS!

The heights which great m…

The heights which great men reached and kept, were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept were toiling upwards through the night.